itsnot fun

I want to but I don't think I should.

I like to but I think it is a bad idea 

It will make me happier but it is unlikely to change the result, so why bother? 

Be patient. Wait. Sometimes this is the answer? Time.

klopp Xmas msg

If it is not a good moment, try to change the moment, make it a good moment. that's how life is

I hope you have some nice memories of last year(2021)

klopp Xmas msg

Logan ury

Cousin recommended her book link1 and link2

Hope I m progressing to the right mindset to approach relationship

:) 

you are my glory

Watching my first Dilraba drama. 😍. So pretty. 

I need peace.

I need to have peace in mind and heart 

what i should do now

 i want to be better day after day

i want to have acceptance of the current situation. it is what it is and at this point i can do more

i will need to forget about her for now and live my life as is and as happy as i can

i will take this time to improve on what i think i m lacking when i m with her.

and in time, when we chat again, we can see how it goes.

and if that time never comes, i will approach her again when i feel i m in a better state than i m now. 

it is going to be a good day

I will tell myself now on the morning that today it will be a great day because I want it to be a great day. :)

I will trade and finish up some tasks from work 

I will call up dbkl on the tree cutting 

I will go out and do some shopping for the kids 

That is the bare minimum. 

I will make sure that throughout the day, I will be motivated, pleased, and content with myself.

Let's do it!!! 하자! 

memory log

Date 1 Chinese restaurant noodle and electric appliances shop

Date 2 golf shirt shopping + mykori

Date 3 pilates and pokebowl

Date 4 fly cycle, uokatsu, gallery in KL

If 

Date 5 soundbath, drinks W1, flower + choc, dinner at bao,

Date 6 dinner at mv, towel shopping

Date 7 grocery shopping for salsa, card games, drinks at home and driving to and from outing (friend's place followed by drinks in friend's friend condo in ttdi)

Date 8 walk in the park turned into bg + pool and farmers bar

Date 9. Coffee at aether Cafe in ttdi. Just a quick one

Not so much of a date but delivery of goods to cheer her up

Date 9 popiah lunch by aunty Lim

Date 10 dinner in kl 

Date 11 another round of drinks + grocery shopping

Date 12 wine and dinner (supposed to be comedy + dinner but comedy was not available today) 

Date 13 dropped fruits for her trip + breakfast

Date 14 airport service 

Date 15 jyu raku dinner and drinks at leftsurface42

Date 16 the prophet at klpac and tiffin at the yard

weekend date. ish

So sort of spend the whole day with steph. Sort off. Drop her for dimsum, pick her up later and we went Shah Alam aeon to shop for salsa ingredients. 

Made salsa/Pico de Gallo frm tomatoes garlic, onion, coriander, salt pepper, paprika and lime 

Drank lychee liquor with soda water. Yums! Peach is soso

Dropped her at her friend's place at pj and picked her up much later to sent her home. I am Happy. 

there is a rat inside this box thing. Caught it in my room. (think it is the creature living at the ceiling and inside the wall)

catch up with tseyee

Went for morning run with tseyee at bkt Jalil today. It was a good run. We did two rounds.

After that we went for brunch at klise oug area.

The food is not bad

The best part was the conversation with her. I told her abt my current status, relationship wise. Hehehehe. It was nice to talk/share with someone about it.

dream

I dream abt steph and I went out for a date. We sat down in  a restaurant IPPUDO and ordered our food. Steph went to washroom. I slept on the table why the waitresses rearrange the tables with me lying on it.

Later on. There's rumor that the restaurant got covid case. The owner is celebrity hk william so. He said it is up to us to leave or stay. Everyone dashed out.

As we evacuated, steph and I got separated but we found each other again. I realized I left my bag with stuff inside in the restaurant. 

Steph was looking for another restroom and this time decided to use the gsc 's staff only room. She asked me to join her but I insist to wait her outside.

Before that, we did talk about what were we planning to do on the evacuation, I said I ll follow her..

Scene 2. I m on my way to work when dad just knock on Kammo main door and announce himself. He came in and I went out of the house. He then turn around at if he is joining me to which I told him that I m of to work but he can use my car. 

I asked him if he feels weird each time he comes back he said no. I replied it is to me because each time you come back unannounced,

Later on my pick up arrived. Hl driving white kancil. I asked him if he prefers that i drive 

liverpool Xi v preston

Kelleher

Neco Williams, phillips, gomez, tsimikas

Ox, morton, Jones,

Minamino, origi, x

Sunday outing

Meditation. Soundbath at alchemie boutique.

Drinks at W1. Pimms + shredded corn cob

Royce chocolate. Champagne.

Flowers. Lilies. 

Dinner at Dabao. Kl.

Big talk. 

Home

Liverpool. 5-0. Old Trafford. 

public holiday. chatting up with ailin kf

Orito in Plaza Damas. I like both the puffs! 

Jjajangmyeon. Nice. Jjampong and tangsiuyuk is OK. Can be better. 

Talked about nick, myself, family (mine, theirs), trading, what's new with each other 

Ailin going to banting next yr. Kf starting new job next month.

I think it is thoughtful of ailin bring up the topic slowly rather than immediately. Easiest to digest. The conversation was pleasing. :) 

Bought a pineapple cake back. From kuke. Hope it taste good! 

Effort! Effort! Effort! 

day out

Morning fly cycle with steph at club aloha.

Now my butt hurts. I cannot stand and do upper body while cycling. 

Had drinks next door before going for lunch.

Came back shower then head to ggmb to see art gallery. 

Took. Photo. Drove back home

좋은아침 여러분

Grateful things for this week. 

Productive week at work, made some major breakthroughs. A few steps closer to finishing the transition to new software 

Meeting Stephy tomorrow. :) I wonder what activity will she ledger or she would prefer me to choose? 

Liverpool is back! Football matches are back today. Against watford today but without Alisson and fabinho. Hopefully kelleher can step up!  Early match too

Trading. Qcom went from low of 122, now back to 130.this is alot!.. Some of my trades would have profited of I didn't cut loss. :l

But most wouldn't have. Lol

Need to be more calm and patient while waiting for entry. 

I visualize that I will profit from my trades consistently, that I will have better win ratios and gain more discipline 

Also I plan to go donate blood next week! 

That's all for today 

types of listeners

Picked this up from natstory's ig live. 

The are two types of listeners that people are looking for. One is the type that listens and give empathy. The one who is venting his feeling is not looking for any solution from the listener. He just want to release his burden inside about the problem and be emotional about it during that period. 

If this once in awhile then it is acceptable. After all, we are only humans. We should try to listen and give empathy even though that is not what we want to do. And what we want to do is not important nor it is the focal point here. The focus here should be on the person who is sharing his feelings and thinking.

Then, the other type of listener is the type who wants to help the teller to solve or address the problem. This listener is keen and willing to discuss and talk through the situation and identify what can the person do at this point to ease his conflict /issues. Again, even though that is what we like to do that that does not mean that is the right thing to do. Sometimes the teller just wants someone to listen and doesnt need a solution.

The important part is probably to gauge the person and see which of what kind of listening they want from you. You can also ask and see what they are looking to get from telling you. Then you are able to provide a more useful listening to the person 

first week of Oct 21

Translated the steps to cook a yakisoba noodle

Received 마마무's album 

Things I am grateful for this week. 

1 remaining calm and avoid being worry 

2 tried pilates

3 meditated yesterday 

4 talked to ys and Conrad about my trades

5 having a laugh with my cousins playing overmind 

building mental strength

It is a consistent effort to build something. Like practicing to exercise daily to lose weight and stay healthy, there are actions that you need to take daily to build up your mentality. Whether it is confidence, repel worry, discipline/ determination, there are actions or exercise you could do everyday to make yourself better at it.

I want to start this journey more actively. 

So what I will do today to move towards this step? 

Confidence : being more assertive in things you want and being comfortable in doing things you don't really like

What I want to do? 

What I don't like to do?

Repel worry: need to constantly remind self to stay confident and that worry is normal but you should ignore that feeling.

Discipline. Set time to do things you always wanted to do but yet to accomplish, namely python, bazi classes. 

한국어 post

좋은아침. 나는여자를만나서. 여장이름이는Stephy. 나는너너무좋아.

grateful post

Getting back my groove on derivatives market

Most 🇺🇸 US stock position are in the green.

Chatting with stephy is nice. 

Been having weird dreams that made wake up and feeling scared /worried /uncomfortable.

Been also more productive with day to day stuff, got back into habitica again, but trying to manage it so it is not so hectic

나는안바쁘고 싶어요! 

I don't busy want = I don't want to be busy 

jabbed

Got sinovac vaccination on 15.7

Wheein is leaving RBW, but stay on as mamamoo

that arrangement will last until 2023. my goal or consideration now is to move to seoul and live there until 2023? :D why not?

휘인 might be leaving mmm

Sigh. Expected but still sad. The rumors are now starting to fly around saying that it is confirmed wheein will not renew her contract with rbw. Omg

I wish her all the best but this is too big of a news to ignore. :(

frost punked

This free game on epic is totally worth it. Enjoyed the game a lot and it is so addictive that I forgot how many hours I spent playing it. Jeez. Not very healthy.shall stop for today. Crazy

blogging with my new keyboard

Bought a new keyboard and it just arrived. Testing it now as it is Bluetooth enabled, I can connect it to my phone. So now I m blogging on my phone but I am typing on a keyboard. nice? 

Haha I think it is a nice add on feature which may be useful if I am using more than one console (which correct I think it won't happen) 

waw

Oh yes, I bought the following.

A new pc

A new keyboard and mouse

Waw album by mamamoo

 

lol somehow managed to get 3rd place

EPL is over. Liverpool finished 3rd. This is considered a miracle to me considering where they were before the past two three weeks ago.

Happy they managed to come through it all and give themselves ucl for next season. We go again!

-----

This morning got two weird dreams. First one was about traveling to oversea for vacation with family. We were in Korea ish place. Came out of a subway station with dad and headed to a restaurant. The restaurant, however, is actually a mamak place. There were my cousins etc. After makan, we supposed to go back to pack. I walked with my cousins to the station and somehow I decided to go back to the mamak place. There, I picked up my sister and another person and we waited for an elevator to go back to the hotel room to pack. The elevator floors are inversed ie grd flr is 4, but the highest floor is 1. We got rushed for time and I was paranoid that my second sister still got so many things to do and pack before she is ready to leave

Second dream one don't rmb much except the setting was in Yong len. We were eating and I went out for awhile. When I came back someone decided to treat the group. One of us keep insisting to pay for his portion whereas I just said  thank you. In the car, one of the person proposed another activity which my cousin did not reject but rather tried to avoid saying yes. I laughed at the matter and commented to the person that my cousin is rejecting her out loud. Then my cousin finally admits she is occupied with her two other cousins for a meal. The person said she understands and it is the timing.

that feeling

That you do all you can, do your best and you do won't get what you want. 

In fact, if anything, the more you put in an effort, the more it tries to get away from you, avoid you.

And you learn you got no choice but to give it up, for the better happiness. And even so, your heartaches so badly.

You want to cling on to every ounce of hope you can find, but at the same time you just want to let go. You want to hear the rejection so you can officially stop doing it.

Hurts so badly.

grilled cheese kimchi sandwich

if you haven't try it. please do.

slurps!

마마무 concert!

it's today! in another 3hrs! can't wait!!

also, man utd v Liverpool tmr. big game. hope we can win! 

and my stocks. didn't do too well with my own discipline. have to hope for the best next week otherwise will hit stop loss. 

Redd. arrived last week!

lazy weekend

pre-ordered Redd. (gosh)

 https://www.makestar.co/projects/singer_wheein_01?locale=en 

1. Watched MAMAMOO at Shopee indonesia
2. Watched Wheein and Hwasa's comebackhome
3. Bought/Ordered Wheein's album

:D

gathering with friends

Probably quite realistic because it looks like a look of v people came out to hang out / meetup post pandemic. Alot of gathering between school mates who haven't meet for a year?

The location was at the jasima enterprise role. The first person I met was Mindy. We talked about how this place was Starbucks before they closed and moved to another lot. The other lot, they closed down during covid and now picked up another differentshop lot to reopen.

Mindy also commented on the restaurant sharing the same lot as Maybank (split to half with the restaurant taking half from the lorong/back)  that it is very expensive. I agreed with her and added that it is a tourist attraction to eat the local delicacy

After that saw pf, WH also there but not with our group, Catherine, Hl. We look at nick taking photos with his other friends before he called Hl and asked "eh where are you now?" to which I replied to the loudspeaker from Hl phone "we are here" (which nick can hear loud in person)

We can also see Jati ppl gathering in another table and I was thinking why like everytime we meet up, Jati also got gathering one? Is it because Hl organize it as such???

Anyway as we head to our reserved table, some that people took it and I had to talk to the owner about the situation. 

not really no

I am unsure of what feelings lately. I am not unhappy but neither I am happy. Not depress but not enthusiastic about things either right now

Some kind of motion that will eventually end.

Spotify and dream

Since Monday, Spotify have stopped streaming most of 마마무 songs because of some copyright /agreement with kakao m.

Hopefully they can resolve it and I can listen on my phone again. 

In the meantime, there is YouTube! 

Weird dream

We went to ou for dinner, my extended family and me. I decided to go down first while they look for parking. After walking for awhile, I found out I don't have a mask and had to go and buy one. 

And during that time, I found out that my family have switched location for dinner and have left me behind. They totally forgotten about me. The me inside the dream was angry. I was frustrated. Very.

Yet, somehow, I told myself to breathe and that is pointless to blame. Then I woke up with calm mind. My heart is still beating fast but I feel that the negative emotions is already over. 

literally

I watched almost all their variety shows. 마마무좋아요

crazy about mamamoo fever

Been indulging myself in mamamoo 마마무 content for the past 1.5 weeks? So crazy.

Don't know how it started but got me so into them now. Lol

And these days every single Korean idol/artist also got their own YouTube. 

Will try to use their videos to learn up more Korean. 

Happy Chinese new year 2021!

Terraforming Mars on Steam

been playing a lot of TM lately, since buying the game two weeks back. 

today, won a 1v1, tied on points, won on the amount of Gold left. and I was running out of time (0s left)

highlight was two of us selling cards vying for 1TR from an Ocean. lol. ridiculous in hindsight. but i won.lol