Monday 17 December 2007

i am losing myself.

dad arrived dy, it was OK. talked a lot to him. more than usual. maybe cos' i m wee bit grown up. its 11pm. he is asleep already. :( I can't PC as long as i would want to now. i feel bad if i did.

tmr is my grad. still no feelings.

i m really disappointed with myself.

my dad asked me to go to brissy b4 going back. i might, if kitmun and yl are there.. lol otherwise i rather go home.

i really like my dad. when i'm young he is my hero. really. i looked up to him a lot. things happened since my mum passed away and we tried to reconcile but its different now. i only wished i could love him more and give him things that he wants from me.

I wanted to hug my sister today too. I never hug her before since she left to aussie the first time. Today, at Coles, it started to hit me that I am not going to stay with her anymore, not in the next few years. I felt really sad and I really wanted to give a hug then. But I didn't :(. Will give her big one tmr.

Then that made me think abt big sis in LA. If she is here now too I would hug her. She's been a great big sis though bossy but she is still my sis. I would hug both of them tight!!

*sniffs* hehe i have tears running down my eyes.. (well, walking down my eyes :P)

all i m saying, is that I kinda regret not showing how much i feel for them at times when it really mattered.



'Cause when i try to talk to you
I feel like I'm not getting through you
Where did we go wrong
It's hard to be strong
When I talk...
When I talk to you'

Mandy Moore's When I Talk To You. (i have this song's lyric in my blog b4, i find this song really meaningful and touching, it saddens me)

1 comment:

wHOisBaBy said...

ya, bossy me! big sister mar. anyway ... miss you too ... ur post made tears from my eyes as well. *HUGZ* ... congrats again. Hope you will like the gift from us ... may not arrive on time though.

qingming or cheng Meng

Bzbz weeks Work with ISO and SST  Then trading been horrible! Lost big money! But it is ok. Will earn it back! 😏 Went to Bali with family i...