Monday, 17 December 2007

i am losing myself.

dad arrived dy, it was OK. talked a lot to him. more than usual. maybe cos' i m wee bit grown up. its 11pm. he is asleep already. :( I can't PC as long as i would want to now. i feel bad if i did.

tmr is my grad. still no feelings.

i m really disappointed with myself.

my dad asked me to go to brissy b4 going back. i might, if kitmun and yl are there.. lol otherwise i rather go home.

i really like my dad. when i'm young he is my hero. really. i looked up to him a lot. things happened since my mum passed away and we tried to reconcile but its different now. i only wished i could love him more and give him things that he wants from me.

I wanted to hug my sister today too. I never hug her before since she left to aussie the first time. Today, at Coles, it started to hit me that I am not going to stay with her anymore, not in the next few years. I felt really sad and I really wanted to give a hug then. But I didn't :(. Will give her big one tmr.

Then that made me think abt big sis in LA. If she is here now too I would hug her. She's been a great big sis though bossy but she is still my sis. I would hug both of them tight!!

*sniffs* hehe i have tears running down my eyes.. (well, walking down my eyes :P)

all i m saying, is that I kinda regret not showing how much i feel for them at times when it really mattered.



'Cause when i try to talk to you
I feel like I'm not getting through you
Where did we go wrong
It's hard to be strong
When I talk...
When I talk to you'

Mandy Moore's When I Talk To You. (i have this song's lyric in my blog b4, i find this song really meaningful and touching, it saddens me)

1 comment:

wHOisBaBy said...

ya, bossy me! big sister mar. anyway ... miss you too ... ur post made tears from my eyes as well. *HUGZ* ... congrats again. Hope you will like the gift from us ... may not arrive on time though.

morning power Qs

What are you happy now? I think that having GF is making me happy atm. And being able to do what I want and contribute abit to the company. ...