Stole this from Bryn

There's always one. This has got to be one of the funniest things in a long time. I think this guy should have been promoted, not fired. This is a true story from the WordPerfect Help Line, which was transcribed from a recording monitoring the Customer Care Department. Needless to say the Help Desk employee was fired. However, he/she is currently suing the WordPerfect organisation for "Termination without Cause".Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee (now I know why they record these conversations!):

Operator: "Ridge Hall, Computer Assistance. May I help you?"
Caller: "Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect."

Operator: "What sort of trouble?"
Caller: "Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away."

Operator: "Went away?"
Caller: "They disappeared."

Operator: "Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?"
Caller: "Nothing."

Operator: "Nothing?"
Caller: "It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type."

Operator: "Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?"
Caller: "How do I tell?"

Operator: "Can you see the C: prompt on the screen?"
Caller: "What's a sea-prompt?"

Operator: "Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?"
Caller: "There isn't any cursor. I told you, it won't accept anything I type."

Operator: "Does your monitor have a power indicator?"
Caller: "What's a monitor?"

Operator: "It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on?"
Caller: "I don't know."

Operator: "Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that?"
Caller: "Yes, I think so."

Operator: "Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the wall.
Caller: "Yes, it is."

Operator: "When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one?"
Caller: "No."

Operator: "Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable."
Caller: "Okay, here it is."

Operator: "Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of your computer."
Caller: "I can't reach."

Operator: "Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is?"
Caller: "No."

Operator: "Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over?"
Caller: "Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle - it's because it's dark."

Operator: "Dark?"
Caller: "Yes - the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window."

Operator: "Well, turn on the office light then."
Caller: "I can't."

Operator: "No? Why not?"
Caller: "Because there's a power failure."

Operator: "A power... A power failure? Aha! Okay, we've got it licked now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came in?"
Caller: "Well, yes. I keep them in the closet."

Operator: "Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from."
Caller: "Really? Is it that bad?"

Operator: "Yes, I'm afraid it is."
Caller: "Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them??"

Operator: "Tell them you're too f*%king stupid to own a computer!!!!!"